My Life According to Sarah (just rambling)

Even though I depend on words for a living, Sarah McLachlan inked the words to my life. She accuses me of building a mystery and I cry 'guilty as charged'. She said my love is better than ice cream, and I think of what flavor best describes me (ampalaya?). She croons about messing up and I imagine drowning in a bathtub for all my own foul-ups.

I used to think words are all I have and so I relied on them to speak in my behalf until I learned words were just weaker weapons than actions. That you can string together the most elaborate phrases yet never quite capture the beauty or the sadness of a moment until you find yourself in that moment and you choose to seize or leave it.

Sarah talks about the violence of existing only for one person and I weave dreams about failed loves, weep for unrealized pursuits and refuse to let go. She offers me advice to grieve in my condition for not having the strength to say "I need you", and I am immediately thinking of a calm shore besieged by a storm on the horizon.

And when someone asks me how I am doing in the romance department, I just smile weakly, and tell them "I'm still fumbling my way towards ecstasy."

But when she sings about Adia, I realize that's where the buck stops. :)