while he wasn't looking

it would have been easier to let things go if i hadn't seen that picture. after all, it wasn't really anything, right? 

 

but i saw your face.  and then i saw his.

 

shame on you the first time. i didn't know.  shame on me the second time around.  i didn't know nor cared who he was.  and shame, shame, shame for all those times in between ignorance and awareness. shame for letting my gonads run all over my better judgment.

 

i still don't know him.  all i have is his face.  but i don't think i can ever be with you again knowing we're doing something i know i don't want my lover to do behind my back.

 

i was so drawn to you from the moment i met you.  i guess i hadn't been attracted to a "bad boy" before.  and (with a knowing smile), yes, you were a 'bad boy'.  it was fun while it lasted. 

 

i hope i don't ever end up with someone like you.  i hope not all guys are like you.  and to think you could have been my marcus. 

 

but i don't know if i'll ever be able to resist you when i see you again.  but i can't stop thinking about how i would feel if i were in HIS shoes.

 

so let's be friends, then?