pride
and the deadliest sin of them all is this.
when you walk past your dear friend because you figure she owes you an apology for her handling of an issue for which you felt you needed an explanation, not crucifixion.
when you dismiss someone as a turd not worth your time because he does not respect your desire to remain anonymous.
when you openly diss a colleague for his delinquency and somehow manage to make an issue of how you are still working at 10 in the evening putting out press releases and how it's all not fair for you to be getting less pay for that.
when you are watching tv and you don't even say a word to your brother who is having dinner.
when you haven't spoken to an officemate for six months because you think she's an underperforming banshee who's losing it and was trying to get your job until you put your foot down and told yourself this is your job and no one is going to come in and tell you how to do it.
when you realize who you want, but don't know how to go about making it known. or maybe you do, but you don't want to because you think he should make the first move if he's really interested.
when you think at the end of the day they can all go to hell, and what's important is you're doing your job just fine and don't need to apologize because you think someone else is has got their job or their life or their feelings all fucked up.
it is deadly to carry this weight around, but you live with it. because you are a human being with feelings, and your feelings got hurt at various times -- recently, last month, last year, a few years back.
but the sin lies in asking 'who's going to take the first step towards healing?' and you say 'definitely not me.'
when you walk past your dear friend because you figure she owes you an apology for her handling of an issue for which you felt you needed an explanation, not crucifixion.
when you dismiss someone as a turd not worth your time because he does not respect your desire to remain anonymous.
when you openly diss a colleague for his delinquency and somehow manage to make an issue of how you are still working at 10 in the evening putting out press releases and how it's all not fair for you to be getting less pay for that.
when you are watching tv and you don't even say a word to your brother who is having dinner.
when you haven't spoken to an officemate for six months because you think she's an underperforming banshee who's losing it and was trying to get your job until you put your foot down and told yourself this is your job and no one is going to come in and tell you how to do it.
when you realize who you want, but don't know how to go about making it known. or maybe you do, but you don't want to because you think he should make the first move if he's really interested.
when you think at the end of the day they can all go to hell, and what's important is you're doing your job just fine and don't need to apologize because you think someone else is has got their job or their life or their feelings all fucked up.
it is deadly to carry this weight around, but you live with it. because you are a human being with feelings, and your feelings got hurt at various times -- recently, last month, last year, a few years back.
but the sin lies in asking 'who's going to take the first step towards healing?' and you say 'definitely not me.'
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